My Apologies

I've mentioned before that this Christmas Season has just been odd for me. Sad.  Tough.  Difficult.

I have not been myself.

To those who had to watch me fight back tears, or succumb to those tears, I apologize....it's just that at times, experiencing Christmas without H was just more than I could handle.

To those who were "jipped' in what we gave you for Christmas, I apologize ...it's just that my mind was thousands of miles away while I was shopping for gifts....and when I was being told what to buy/how much to spend.

To those who were shortchanged when the dessert I was supposed to bring ended up being chocolatey snacks, I apologize ...it's just that my appetite has taken many breaks lately, and has taken my desire to bake along with it.

To those who were given impersonal gifts this year, I apologize...it's just that I'd rather spend my time dreaming about and preparing for H than coming up with a unique and thoughtful gift.

To those who had to "loan" us tissue paper so we could finish wrapping your gifts, I apologize...it's just that I must've been thinking about something else when I set aside gift-wrapping items.

Now, I am not naive.  I know very well that a lot of these things may happen next year...and the next...and the next.  At least then it will be because I have my hands full with a certain little man and not because I'm caught up in missing him and dreaming about and preparing for his arrival :)